A can of deep fried organic sawdust-breaded Spam Nuggets on the side is a good choice
For a limited time...
Ketchup and Spam Sandwiches!
SPAM LASTS FOREVER
Spam has been found in ancient caves in distant locations and is still Spam.
What a deal.
That's right, by request, now, new special, limited time offer, all you can eat, for only $5, on Friday with the purchase of our Deluxe TruckWash, you got it, yes, SPAMGETTI a special blend of box pasta smothered in Spam fresh out of the can, $5
I've got a can of Spam in my cupboard.
It goes well with box pasta.
New, on the menu - SPAM
Get it while it's hot
We cook it and serve it right in the can so you know it's fresh
You're going down.
My Kingdom is drawing nigh.
Being on the Border Patrol and not getting paid? I would rather be rakin'
The only thing I'm reaping is grim.
I think Beto lost his parents at the Rio Grande
Have been stuck lately. In and out of a dentist chair. My last day I shaved was January 2nd. It’s been more than twenty years since I was last not shaving. Maybe if I get another dentist, on the road, meet people, learn about what’s going on where they live, have some adventure, go where I don’t know and I’m not known, it’ll clear my head, shave, I’ll think new thoughts, break out the dentist chair I’ve been stuck in.
Everything you own will be worthless.
It's all true.
you guys are making this up
I think they weren't Swedish, they were sugar coated. But when the animal hospital closed, so did the smorgasbord
I know that the old ladies at my church in Oxnard really enjoyed "The Mystery Meat Mondays" we had for fundraising.
No one ever told me what the mystery meat was, but I can venture to guess.
This reminds me of the smorgasbord that had special Swedish meatballs on Fridays. Yes, it was next to the animal hospital that neutered dogs for free every Thursday.
You haven't tried the local delicacy yet!
Its not a place with a name like that I would want to live. I do want commercial grade carpet tiles, Raven has more class than me. Marie suggested a doggie door which I have.
You can either glue carpet tiles down, or get a double sided sticker that will adhere them to your floor.
You probably want the latter.
Then if you have a mess or damage, you can easily remove the one tile and replace it.
You want something commercial, you don't want plush.
Pet claws would be more damaging to a plush.
I think Home Depot would have what you need.
You should inquire there.
Or you can drive to Oxnard and visit my aunt's store, she might cut you a deal.
Marie, Yes, got that. When something happens out in the street the dogs ski daddle over the floor to dive thru the doggie door. Raven may not like carpet tiles and prefer area rugs is my guess. Hope solidity can break the tie so we can get paid.
Have you tried a doggie door?
What are a good brand of dog and cat resistant carpet tiles? I need to do an area about 300sf, or so.
Except for California, it is Mexico Norte be California.
Keep more illegals who take advantage of the system out.
Happy New Year Raven
What about negotiating for hiring someone with Alien experience - Sigourney Weaver?
#4 – BORDER FENCES AND WALLS
The NBPC disagrees with wasting taxpayer money on building fences and walls along the border as a means of curtailing illegal entries into the United States. However, as long as we continue to operate under the current NBPS and ignore the problem that is causing illegal immigration, we realize fences and walls are essential.
Walls and fences are temporary solutions that focus on the symptom (illegal immigration) rather than the problem (employers who knowingly hire illegal aliens).
Walls and fences are only a speed bump. People who want to come to the United States to obtain employment will continue to go over, under, and around the walls and fences that are constructed.
Walls and fences will undoubtedly result in an increase in fraudulent documents and smuggling through the Ports of Entry.
Walls and fences do not solve the issue of people entering the country legally and staying beyond the date they are required to leave the country, a problem which will undoubtedly increase as more walls and fences are constructed.
The NBPC position regarding walls and fences is not due to a concern of losing our jobs if fences and walls are built. On the contrary, the NBPC realizes that walls and fences require just as much manpower to protect them. Border Patrol Agents witness what happens to walls and fences when there are not enough Border Patrol agents to protect them.
I have nothing to say, but I felt I should say something.
The whole is equal to the sum of the content, man.
This country is bizarre.
That what this country needs!
Something strange is going on at the TruckWash. Earth’s north magnetic pole has been skittering away from Canada and towards the Lounge, driven by liquid iron sloshing within the planet’s core. The magnetic pole is moving so quickly that it has forced the world’s geomagnetism experts into a rare move. “That was an interesting situation we found ourselves in,” says Smuch. “What’s happening?” The answer is twofold, he reported last month at a meeting of the American Geophysical Union in Washington DC.
Someone get the President.
He's the only one that can drain the swamp.
The closure continues and the swamp beside the lounge is filling up with yellow waste water. "No end in site and this stinks." said Earl.
Truckers are protesting the closure of the mens room
The Lounge is non essential, thus the men's restroom is closed.
I just found 2 pennies in the self checkout at Safeway.
I dug a little hole behind the woodshed and ran into a shiny object that turned out to be a 4000# gold meteorite encrusted with diamonds.
TAKE THAT BACK!
Solidity friended me on Facebook.
Turn up the nitrous Doc!
I apologize in advance for the crude language.
I do not need updates from politicians who are instagramming from the dentist chair.
God. Damn. Disgusting.
Turns out this Lucky Penny I been holding on to till I die is worth $1.7 million.
Winning the lottery is overrated I think.
There is more fun to be had at Bingo Tuesday at the lounge.
For this reason, I have a winning ticket worth $10 million from lottery and the roommate would steal it.
I will wait for the highlites memo from solidity
What channel is the politics show on?
Why are Democrats so irrational?
Keep your day job, if you got one.
Give a man a quarter and he still needs 20 bucks to buy a fish.
“In the end, you’re measured not by how much you undertake but by what you finally washed.”
“Washing is easier to take when you realize that the only trucks who aren’t washed are those who don’t take washing.”
“Trucks are meant to be washed.”
“I don’t like dirty.”
“My whole life is about washing. I don’t like dirt often. I almost never like dirt.”
“I used to use the word ‘incompetent.’ I’m very highly educated,” he said on Dec. 30, 2015. “I know words. I have the best words, but there’s no better word than ‘stupid,’ right? There is none. There is none.”
Foul language and temperaments will not be accepted in the lounge for the President's Special Address.
And Earl is watching the address saying "why don't you die?"
President Trump to address the survivors of the "Sunday Special" on Thursday.
Earl had gone to put bricks in the inflatable truck before the big storm hits the truckwash and we haven't seen him since the tether broke so smuch is here to claim the award
This year, the best picture goes to...
For "Die Spiders"!
What we need is a bouncer
We don't serve their kind here.
yes, there are bots that barf
Remember when Joe Dirt was in the cafeteria?
What the hell?
Chinese dating, yes thats what eating spam is like.
I saw that movie once when I lost my parents athe the Grand Canyon. That's past my bedtime, but have you ever looked up at the full moon and wondered where's the good stuff? You know? Things that you can stick up a bullfrogs butt. Brandy is way too hot for me I want my AutoTrader.
"All you can use" salt!
At the lounge!
School is good for something.
Joe Dirt/Earl in 2020!
I'm pooring the contents of cup one into jar two. This will make apple cider... here goes
OH NO, POISONOUS SPIDER JUICE!
I am warin a Joe Dirt hat on my head wheneva now.
My nuts froze to the porch and Joe Dirt was there to save my nuts.
Do you ever look up at the full moon?
Jod Dirt, you are the only one who thinks like Joe Dirt
Spider Loving Liberals will not make America great again.
More spider loving liberals in the truckwash... before you know it the spiders will have webs in every nook and cranny and we will all get stuck in their webs
I think Earl needs to go to Spider Sensitivity Training.
The cops showed up when a man in the TruckWash was heard shouting 'Why don't you just die?' — but he was talking to a spider
Scientists Find the 'Missing' Dark Matter from the Early Universe in the Lounge
"Our estimate of the amount of dark matter in the Lounge is an average for the whole population at each epoch," smuch told the news. "The amount of dark matter within individual Lounges might vary significantly."
Woo who! I found a rolled up five dollar bill in the sidewalk crack at the TruckWash Train Station.
The Earth, a mire speck of sand coated with bacteria, is in orbit of an asteroid called the Sun, an enormous fireball.
I found a dime raking the forest.
I don't make any money from websites.
I think I provide a public service of some sort.
I have a bright idea to make a lot of money.
Like Youtube only Metube.
The wall will offer some relief.
Welcome to the TruckWashington where we are shutting down the mensroom.
Truckers at Lounge were reporting squabbles as different drivers laid claims to the Women's Restroom, with no management on hand to adjudicate, said Alexa, who operates the Lounge Corner gift shop.
"The whole Trailer Park has come together,” Alexa said. “Everyone loves the Lounge. And there’s a lot of truckers that actually need to pee in the Lounge.”
“No matter what our differences, most of us want the same thing,” Earl, the 69-year-old Truck Washer said in a video that highlights his history in the Lounge.
“To be able to hardly work, play by my rules and have the people we love take care of me. That’s what I’m fighting for and that’s why today I’m launching an exploratory committee in the Lounge.”
“The TruckWash Lounge is under attack,” Earl said in the video. “How did we get here? Alexa and big management decided they wanted more of the pie. And they enlisted truckers to cut them a fatter slice.”
Europe's restrooms are better raked than ours.
Everyone: Get a rake.
TruckWash bathrooms overflowing with human waste, vandals causing damage, fighting over trailers.
One of my favorite scenes and lines from the Dirty Harry series. To capture hijackers, Dirty Harry poses as an airline pilot. As the jet taxi, the confounded copilot says, "Excuse me captain, can you fly?"
Shouldn't that mule be in the trailer?
My Mule Dont Like People Laughing, because he gets the crazy idea people are laughing at him. Now if you were to apologise, like I know your going too, maybe I can convince him you really didnt mean it.
When I was a child I asked my father 'why are there so many jokes about Chuck Norris but none about Clint Eastwood?'
He leant forward look me straight in the eyes and said 'because Clint Eastwood is no joke'.
Shut up! Alexa!
I like watching Caine KICK ASS.
He does it so well. The wisdom of the Shoulin has much to teach us.
Caine was a man's man.
A real man. An enlightened man. He still lives within us.
Never mess with a monk and his herbal tea.
The only way I could live that long is by eating pecan ice cream, smoking 12 Cuban cigars and having a shot of whiskey in my coffee every day.
Ever hear of syndication?
Our 5 year mission will stretch for 50!
Plugging up the Lounge Hot Tub kept the Enterprise out of Hot Water and the show was cancelled before we completed our 5 year mission.
Cpt. Kirk pooped in the Lounge hot tub.
He was drunk on Romulan Ale.
Who pooped in the Lounge hot tub?
Jim - should I be a beamin' down Jim Beam?
Red Shirt Guy: Alexa...
This. Makes. No sense.
Phasers on stun - Mr. Spock.
Deploy the Red Shirt guy.
Spock: Alexa, brew me a cup of "Vulcan tea".
Alexa: "Fucking tea?" Are you crazy?
Alexa? Where is the nearest Blockbuster video rental store?
Standard maneuvers were a sequence of movements and tactics which were pre-programmed in every Federation starship. These so-called attack patterns or tactical patterns were named after a Greek letter and a number (for example, attack pattern delta two). It appears that these patterns involved movement, shield intensity placement, and weapons targeting.
She doesn't work.
Alexa: Evasive Pattern Delta 5!
Far away eyes
Having Alexa in the Lounge that causes Earl regular distress. For one thing it’s absurd for him to have a surveillance device in the Lounge. Alexa says it is not keeping recordings of everything you say—but how can we know?
As humanlike robots get more common, we are all figuring out how to interact with them. And that means people are testing their limits, says Smuch, a human computer interaction research fellow at The TruckWash University. He studies how people grow attached to technology.
The Management got Alexa to serve my whims, because it has no heart and it has no brain and it has no parents and it doesn't eat and it doesn't judge me or care either way. Now that Alexa lives in the Lounge I might call her terrible names when she plays the wrong Pandora station. And I will roll my eyes when she can't figure out how to take my order.
We might as well all start emptying our pockets now then.
The management hired Alexa
I am pretty down to earth, but not at the maggot level.
Some people call me a space cowboy...
Some call me the Vulcan of love.
If you like space rock put another nickel in the jukebox
Those white flys are circling my space rock like it's dinner!
I don't get it.
In the Lounge - I thought Earl said Free WiFi.
That's a lot of beer granny. Be sure to be here on New year's eve at the Loungs. Mariah Carie's tour bus is scheduled for an oil change and microphone check.
The key to my success is 3 Miller Lites a night.
I plan to visit the lounge on a daily basis!
People who drink moderate amounts of alcohol or coffee and are overweight in their 70s live longer lives, according to Earl at the Truckwash Lounge.
Earl started a study in 1968 to look at what makes people live past 90.
They say participants in the Lounge who drank moderate amounts of alcohol or coffee lived longer than those who abstained from either drink.
In addition, people who were overweight in their 70s lived longer than people who were normal or underweight in their 70s.
The Lounge welcomes all space truckers and veteran astronats. We have a display of meteors to choose from in the TruckWash Gift Shop.
I don't recall the Lounge having barstools.
The Lounge seems fine now, man.
There was loud cracking sounds coming from the Lounge, the doors were blocked, we broke the windows with barstools and evacuated.
Tom, that's right about blue skys over the TruckWash today. Special deal today, free sunshine with each full price truckwash.
Under the skies of blue...
Tom don't worry. The Lounge is open for business despite the rumors about a pull out from the trailer park and threat of unraked forest fires.
That's just rust.
It'll buff out.
We did something we both know it
We don't talk too much about it
Ain't no big secret all the same
Somehow we gotta get around it
Tom, I don't have any to give.
Go ahead and give it to me.
Smells like Teen Spirit.
The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind.
New menu item.
When someone sneezes and farts at the same time, that's snart
We have a go fun me president who is, like, really snart, he said.
Since the government is shutting down, we all should follow suit.
For the next month nothing should happen, no work, no shopping, just pancakes at the lounge, and good company.
This really is the simple life!
My DNA is part dog.
I had them done on my dogs
You could be The Donald's long lost brother given how accurate those snake oil tests are.
At-home genealogy tests have become popular gifts. They're meant to reveal a person's genetic history, but sometimes the results can be surprising.
The DNA genealogy test that I tried revealed more about my family than I bargained for... I am 1024th part Bernie Sanders.
You could've guessed
That was no tornado.
Jed just got a hold of himself some of his wife's chili...
A confirmed tornado touched down near The Lounge at the Truckwash about 45 miles west of here, according to the National Weather Service. The service said it hit shortly before 2 p.m. Local men said several trailers were damaged and the Christmas Tree almost toppled.
Can Ed cook as well as he posts?
Ladies and Gentlemen...
Start your bidding.
I wouldn't give you five dollars for that frozen chunk of space p p
A 552-pound yellow meteor was recently unearthed in the Lounge — the largest ever found in the TruckWash.
The “astonishing meteor” measures 33.74 inches by 54.56 inches, the management said.
It was uncovered in the initial wash process at the TruckWash, the management said. “Abrasion markings on the meteors’s surface attest to the difficult journey it underwent during recovery, and the fact that it remains intact is remarkable.”
Looking for your invitation?
What planet am I living on?
Red trees are in the Lounge now, when asked by smuch, Former Hostess replied, "They portray different stuff and focus on different, unimportant stuff really. And I'm here to shit on important stuff. It is literally a miracle that we finished them and they turned out and looked as perfect as they did, because this red stuff got all over us."
The Management on Thursday said it has no plans to hold a holiday party for Earl, ending a tradition that stretches back decades, according to smuch.
“The Truck Wash Christmas party for Earl was not put on the holiday schedule this year,” a Truck Wash official said, according to smuch. “We have accommodated members of the Lounge and their families who have asked to see the holiday decorations.”
The Truck Wash held the party last Christmas, but the Management only made a brief appearance at the gathering to address Earl. The move to skip the party this year marks the latest snub by the Truck Wash management of the Lounge, with whom the Management has a famously contentious relationship.
Service here is good, considering nobody knows about Earl.
The Lounge invited everyone to the pot luck at the Lounge.
I Googled Earl and it came up smuch
Baby it's cold outside.
Inspectors found billions of microorganisms living under the rug in the Lounge.
We found his brain was eaten by brain eating amoebas beginning sometime after November 2016. Coroner report, 12/9/2025
What are you going to do? Bleed on me?
None shall pass. Hostess is so untruthful. Lies!
TruckWash Management are looking into controversial images that feature a naked couple atop the Lounge.
The TruckWash Manager said Earl will investigate the situation after a video showing a man and a woman climbing to the top of the Lounge.
The video, which is believed to have been deleted, was approximately three minutes long and ended with a shot of the man and the woman clutching each other while they both were nude.
That is the only sound of the ever approaching black hole sucking in this measly universe.
I thought you were doing something important.
Listening to the soothing sounds of the Martian winds
A tai chi a pet and a light box amazon
I do tai chi.
Did you read recently president is a tarriffth?
The Management allowed someone to invade my text with a disgusting anti-Lounge message. The same thing-period no space-occurred later and it didn’t happen. Don’t tell me they are not committed cardcarrying anti-Loungers. Earl also may fit that description. FAIRNESS PLEASE
Q: How exactly does the TruckWash work?
My number is listed.
We need to hold a fundraiser.
I'm thinking Bingo.
In February we estimated to rebuild the Lounge it would cost $730, and we approved it.
Now we learned it cost $730 to rebuild the Lounge and that crazy!
What's going on?
I can see Buttonwillow from Sarah Palin's front porch!
I'll ask an Alaskan...
The earthquake in Alaska was felt much worse in Buttonwillow at the Lounge.
Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away.
Now it looks as if they are here to stay.
Doing things no good school girl should be.
We still have not got the answer for what is "is?"
We are hurdling at a fast speed towards an unknown future.
What does it even mean?
The Smuch Guys were an instant phenomenon, still the bestselling male group in the Lounge of all time.
Raven is the hottest chick in the Lounge.
Joe? Is that really you? Joe?
Come home Joe. Stop tryin' to date that big chunk of space poopie. Forget it Joe.
Come home Joe. Charlie's nuts are frozen to the porch again.
Do pigs really fly?
Never argue with a hog. You will get down and dirty and the hog likes it.
I would like you to date my space rock.
I am an anthropologist and my life is in ruins.
Is this a dating site?
I am willing to date any old thing.
Please reply kindly.
Apparently we have more than trucks to wash.
Wednesday is Odin's Day.
I've heard that Odin had Ravens too.
I don't care if you do sue. Of course you can sue.
No matter what the experts say, I am very intelligent. I feel there are no Wednesdays. Look, the sun is brighter than ever and the nights get very dark. I don't care if a thousand experts say we have them, that doesn't mean we have Wednesdays.
I am suing the scientific community because their fake climate report gave me a heart attack when I read it.
This happens every week. Yes.
It's the longest day name of the week.
The couple claimed they didn’t know that nudity at a public beach was illegal in Florida because they were on vacation from Vermont.
You own the greatest hits?
How can you own them all?
Do you get a nickel each time the record is played on the radio?
If anyone ever asks me if I believe in climate?
I am just going to ask them if it ever rains in Seattle Washington?
I am too smart to be a truck washer, I don't believe trucks need washing.
Dirt is not dirt.
It's not Dirt, it's Dir'té
I don't hate POTIS, I pity the fool.
I owned their greatest hits in high school.
I loved every second of that album.
Credence Clearwater Revival, Looking out my back door
That is some strange lyrics, but it works.
Bother me tomorrow
Today I'll take no sorrows
Just go home from Illinois lock the front door oh boy. got to sit down take a rest on the porch imagination sets in pretty soon I'm singin' doo doo doo lookin' out my back door. There's a giant doing cartwheels a statue wearing high heels. Look at all the happy creatures playing on the lawn a Dinosaur Victrola list'nin' to Buck Owens doo doo doo lookin' out my back door. Tambourines and elephants are playing in the band won't you take a ride on the flying spoon. Doo doo doo doo wondrous apparition provided by magician. doo doo doo lookin' out my back door. Tambourines and elephants are playing in the band won't you take a ride on the flying spoon. Doo doo doo doo bother me tomorrow today I'll buy no sorrows. doo doo doo lookin' out my back door.
Are you the same Walter who was so mean to Donny and told him to shut up at the bowling alley?
Disgraceful funeral services scattering his remains against the wind?
Well then, if that's so: You certainly are not one to say how to rake.
I think, if we all start raking leaves, global warming will go away.
They can land a Tesla with a dummy in it on Mars but they can't get a Caravan to turn around at the border.
Good Joe. Save some for later. Things will be so bad towards the end of this president's second term everyone will be wanting a piece of that asteroid.
I eat asteroids for breakfast.
No really, I do.
That asteroid really ties into what we hope won't happen so we know we cannot do anything about it.
Carry on my wayward sun, there will be peace when it is done. Don't you cry no more. no.
No biggie, don't worry now.
But in less than 5 years that 50 megaton asteroid traveling at 62 thousand miles oer hour is due to slam into this planet.
Yes but until then, this TruckWash and Lounge will provide the same great service as always.
Jesse, might be wise to head south
It's just as I have thought, there is no hope for my children.
“We are humbled by the overwhelmingly positive response during the first two days of raking,” said The Management of The TruckWash, in a statement Friday. “This is an enormously gratifying moment for the whole TruckWask team to finally get to see the earth we have obsessed over raking for the past two years. We urge everyone to rake responsibly."
He’s the richest man in The Lounge right now and, according to The News, the 19th richest in the TruckWash. Now Earl, 54, is stepping down as man of The Lounge to return to an old job: Raking.
Good idea Joe, wet leaves will not burn.
I'm inventing an "underwater rake".
I splashed on some Love Potion #9
I keep raking along.
I just sing my song.
Asked what he was thankful for this year, Earl cited his “great Lounge” … as well as himself. “I made a tremendous difference in this Lounge,” he said. “This Lounge is so much stronger now than it was when I took over and you wouldn’t believe it and when you see it, we’ve gotten so much stronger people don’t even believe it.”
I got to rake them tumbleweeds off the happy trail again
Happy Trails to you, until we meet again, happy trails to you, keep smiling now my friend. Who cares about the clouds and stormy weather, as long as you and I are together
More places to go, this is something now.
I have to get a rake.
In fact, am working on the NAMI Truck right now
This feature is undergoing maintenance and will be available after 4.30 AM ET on 23rd Nov.
It has been said that Earl is the MacGyver of the TruckWash based on the raking of the helipad.
Make Americans Rake America
Earl opened the TruckWash Garage
Earl is a mechanic, it's like we gave him a rake, and a heafty bag, and he fixed the heliport.
This is something.
Usually I don't understand Chineese sayings.
Don't worry Joe, F.A.R.T. will come to define us.
Everyone will be rooting for the F.A.R.T.
Little kids will dream of becoming the next F.A.R.T.
I hope they don't stink.
Let's all Make America Great Again, with the F.A.R.T.
I be-leaf it can work!
I'm grabbing a rake to MAGA!
I am Finnish Raking
That might help.
In the meantime, we'll keep running our economy the way we do, and then act like we are superior to you.
Earl, Rake the helipad landing zone area.
Pres. Trump is touring the devastation in CA and wants to make a stop at the Truck Wash Lounge.
It should be a real treat for the hostess and inhabitants of this little known restaurant.
Special offer - today only
Wombat cubes, fresh with every full order of lunch at the Lounge.
As we learned recently, raking prevents fire storms so now its learned umbrellas prevent rain storms. Who knew? Only our leader, that's who.
Once my "Chocolate Creme Pie In A Jar!" begins to sell like hotcakes, we'll be Making America Great Again!
We was watching on the Lounge TV how they rake the forests in places and with all the talk about what to do with the caravan folks... give them rakes - of course that means rake production factories, that makes jobs, and the the people can have rakes, put them to workning in the forest raking, problem solved.
Without explaining herself, the the former hostess said the floors of the lounge need to be taken care of and again talked about time needed to be spent on moping and cleaning.
Earlier at the Lounge she was asked about the role of the Truck Wash in the recent Lounge fires. She said, “Well I think we have a lot of factors. We have the management factor that I know Earl has really been up on and very well and Juanito is going to -- were going to be looking at that together.”
I went to the doctor for my runny nose.
Turns out I don't have a runny nose.
I just have a little brain fluid leak.
Joe, I believe you solved the problem.
That is why we should implement Joe's idea and start selling chocolate cream pie... in a jar!
“The Lounge is not too big to fail … In fact, I predict one day The Lounge will fail. The Lounge will go bankrupt. If you look at large lounges, their lifespans tend to be 30-plus years, not a hundred-plus years,” Earl told me.
“The Lounge is running very smoothly and the results for our Truck Wash are obviously very good,” Earl said Thursday. “We are the envy of the world. But anytime I even think about making changes, the Trailer Park goes crazy, always seeking to make us look as bad as possible! Very dishonest!”
This site is rated R by The Motion Pictures Association of America.
I noticed this site has no ratings
Ladies and Gentlemen...
We have it!
Earl, we all know your ex-wife removed your nuts years ago.
No need to go telling tall tales again.
Oh, no, it's so cold my nuts are frozen to the porch.
A Truck Wash Trailer Park mother and son are sharing their frightening story after they floated miles away from earth on a giant inflatable swan. The woman tried to get back to land, but quickly got tired. Fortunately Earl noticed them float adrift and called the police.
Can we steer this discussion BACK towards my jar of poop?
I ran into the Wall of Voodoo at the Mexican border in my Dodge Caravan.
I'm on the Mexican radio.
I'm on the Mexican, whoa-oh, radio...
No Shit Bill!
Give it time Mr. Earl.
Internet Explorer wasn't born in a day.
Wait for your load to load.
I downloaded this crap into my bottle and it stinks.
That's kind of what were hoping folks do Mr. Skid.
I always keep my poop and pee in a jar.
It makes it easier to live in a box.
And if I need a jar for water, sometimes I use my poop and pee jar.
This is a huge breakthrough.
We want everyone to be drinking water from the poop they excrete.
This will revolutionize tap water and finally put humans on par with their household pets.
Bill, no, you don't want to drink that water in that, that ain't water in that there bottle.
But! If you're making water, you want your poop to be Microsoft and not Microsolid.
Believe me, if I could bottle solidity, I wouldn't need this jar. I would have named my compant MicroSolid had that been possible.
That jar of poop represents the collective knowledge of the human species.
Why Did Bill Gates Give A Talk With A Jar Of Human Poop By His Side?
Earl drove his Dodge Caravan to Mexico. It's been in the news.
What happened to Earl?
I moved to the Truck Wash Trailer Park.
Earl is creepy
That was flagrant!
The metal in my leg will be recycled into road signs.
Leaving my family with nothing.
Earl, we are taking some points off on the scoreboard on you. That was out of bounds
I want a pet Raven to sit on my lap
Truman Capote had a pet Raven that sat on his shoulder.
You wanna find the truth in life Don't pass music by And you know, I would not lie
No, I would not lie, no, I would not lie.
I was born under a wandering star.
Wheels are made for rolling.
Mules are made to pack.
I've never seen sight that didn't look better looking back.
I was born under a wandering star!
Mud can make you a prisoner and the plains can bake you dry.
Snow can burn your eyes but only people can make you cry.
Home was made for coming from, for dreams of running to.
Which with any luck would never come true.
I was born under a wandering star.
Do I know where hell is?
Hell is in hello.
Heaven is goodbye forever its time for me to go.
I was born under a wandering star.
When I get to heaven tie me to a tree.
Or I'll begin to roam until you know where I will be.
People are people so why should it be?
You and I should get along so awfully?
If you are disadvantaged normal people feel sorry for you. But normal people are actually assholes to each other.
This year’s Miss BumBum competition ended in a shambles after contestants resorted to violence on stage following cheating allegations.
The fight was sparked by one contestant accusing the other of having a surgically enhanced derriere.
The eye-popping scenes unfolded Monday shortly after Ellen Santana was crowned Miss BumBum 2018.
The 31-year-old model and dancer was representing the northern Trailer Park of the Truck Wash in the competition.
But moments after she was declared the winner, she was physically stripped of her winner’s sash by fellow contestant Former Hostess from the Lounge, south of the Truck Wash.
Former Hostess, now a 52-year-old massage therapist, was heard shouting that the competition was a farce and claiming that the winner’s butt was surgically enhanced.
She added: “I fulfilled all the rules of the game, my butt is real, but her butt is plastic!”
Wagon man ol' Joe found the meteor was not what we expected.
The caravan es rolling - si, yes, es a Dodge Caravan - yes has mucho room para todos.
He knows a value when he sees one.
The caravan stopped today. You see last night they were all looking up in the dark sky at the stars and this falling star they were wishing on came crashing to earth. They sent the young man with a wagon to retrieve it because meterorites are worth something.
Today the Caravan took off into the river but were unable to read their wet map, causing them to go the wrong way.
They fell off of a waterfall, and while they survived, their canoe was destroyed. They all managed to get on shore north of the Truck Wash. Then they ventured into the Truck Wash Trailer Park where the met two farmers, Flower and Butterfly.
That will not make America great again.
It's clean already, man.
he showed more compassion than Earl ever experienced
If you donate a dollar you get a bumper sticker, otherwise buy a bumper sticker your $10.99 or 2 for $20.
I hope Earl is ok.
Truck Washer Earl was arrested Friday after an altercation over a Lounge parking spot.
The incident occurred around 1 p.m. local time in the Truck Wash area, according to News Reports.
Earl was in management custody Friday afternoon after the incident.
Management say Earl was backing into an open parking spot when a man in a different car came in from behind him and took the spot.
Earl then followed the man to a nearby parking meter and punched him, according to management.
The victim was taken into the Lounge in unknown condition.
The Lounge motto bumper stickers say:
"I am surrounded by idiots."
They are free, but if you are an idiot the price is $10.99
I was at the Lounge Halloween party and smuch asked me "Now, you're telling me you were so ingrained with white trash DNA, your facial hair actually grows in on its own all white trashy like that?" I explained "Well, I was born without the top of my skull and I guess a little bit of my brains was showin' and it was grossin' everybody out so my mom put this wig on me to cover it up and then the bones grew together and it got all infused and entwined. I mean I don't mean to get all scientific with you..."
Tonight I am dressed up as a Dodgers fan.
I scared a bunch of people who felt sorry for me.
Tonight's scary movie is not a zombie thriller.
We've upped the scare factor two-fold!
Tonight's movie is, "Mentally Ill Sports Fans!"
My mom lives on Rigel IV.
In the "Tarkellian Sector".
It wouldn't work.
Invite Mom to join us for Coffee. We can collect her DNA, I might be related
She would like you.
Well I made that bag myself from the hemp I grew in 2014. That slogan in it, whatever it says, I made that slogan up and hand drew it. Your mom has a good eye
Get that man a beer!
Can't you see he's thirsty?
What's wrong with you people?
My mom is borrowing it.
I haven't been able to find my limited edition Bernie shopping bag since I went to meet solidity.
Now available in The Truck Wash Gift Shop Dodger Blue Victory Shirts for sale... Look to the left of the Bernie Sanders accessory section.
Took away his drink!
That is not cool.
This injustice will not stand!
Red Sox destroyed LA!
We apologizes for Earl's drunken posts.
We do not approve of his behavior, and took away his bottle.
assists wear red sox
Red Sox Nation!!!!!
Yes, it's true. I was fired from the Truck Wash for saying I am going smuch-faced on Halloween.
But that was years ago. I was a kid and in character, just a costume.
I'm running away from the circus.
To join the truckwash.
Earl, try the blowtorch on the liverwurst
Scientist found a thousand psychoactive ingredients in liverwurst recently. What exactly this means is being discovered in the Lounge.
A job opportunity of a lifetime
Solidity, The Management wrote your name up on the whiteboard in the Truck Wash under "Circus Truck Washer."
I was hoping to run away to the circus when I was young.
Now all I want to do is be a truck washer.
No openings at the Truck Wash, sorry.
Earl's new nickname should be Spiderman.
I think it's more friendly than Firestarter.
Firefighters are issuing a warning to arachnophobes — if you're going to kill spiders, don't do it with fire — after one man used a blowtorch to take out the "eight-legged freaks."
Around 11 p.m. Tuesday, the Fire Department responded to a fire at a Lounge in the Truck Wash smuch reported. The fire was lit by Earl who was sitting in the Lounge at the Truck Wash.
Fire officials said he used a blowtorch to kill black widow spiders — among the world's deadliest arachnids.
We won't tell anyone you met smuch.
I guess since I have never been either, than I am a girly man...?
I think I shot myself in the foot with that one.
I spelled that wrong, it's "infidelity".
I'll remind you that The Governator was once your elected politician in the state of Calilfornia and wasn't terminated from this job though he was terminated by his wife Maria Shriver for infedility.
If I was both The Terminator and The Governator I wouldn't be a "girly man".
Terminator meets solidity shortest feature film ever.
I know now why you cry.
Hello there Sarah Conner. There is heavy metal man over in the Lounge waiting to see you. Hw asked me to shove you in that direction.
Have a nice stay
There is no fate, but what we make for ourselves.
That's what I call conservative! Let me know when we get a barrel of Megamulch and I will spread under the Truck Wash shrubbery with extreme gratitude.
At the Lounge we can properly dispose of your mail with our new Megadeath Mail Mulcher. Simply drop your ballot in the slot before midnight on any day.
I'd rather vote democratic than pay that price.
If you want the Megadeath bus washed we can do it for full price, plus 15% cash only, while you wait watch our video its impressive
Sells, but whose buying?
Don't allow your opinion to suffer a Megadeth.
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha...
Is this Trump or Dave Mustaine?
The world's comin' to an end, I don't even care
As long as I can have a limo and my orange hair
And it don't bother me if people think I'm funny
'Cause I'm a big rock star and I'm makin' lots of money
Money, money, money, money, money, money
Ahh, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
I'm so bloody rich ha ha ha ha
I own apartment buildings and shopping centers ha ha ha ha
When I was young, the bible taught us that gambling brings false hope.
In other words, God said, "Don't play with your Power Balls".
Anybody can "wo" the jackpot!
It takes a real streak of luck to "win" it.
That was close only needed an "n"
I wo. the Jackpot, $1.6 Billion
The only metal balls I'm worried about are right where they should be.
Millions of 2 pound metal balls fell out of a truck and destroyed much the Lounge on Friday night.
There is a Red Sox fan in the Lounge.
Houston, we have a problem
Today's Special In Houston Diners...
"Dirty Red Sox"!
Ha ha ha...
I should know better then to not eat squirril's brains at my age but I lost my mind already.
What a card!
I am to presume this man is not what humans refer to as "a nut"?
A man in the Lounge developed an extremely rare brain disorder after he ate squirrel brains, according to a new report of the man's case.
The 61-year-old man was brought to the Truck Wash after experiencing a decline in his thinking abilities and losing touch with reality, the report said. The man had also lost the ability to walk on his own.
The Lounge Band is good, especially the trumpeteer.
Featuring Tremor's, with Bacon
Today's musical guest is Sly & The Family Stone
That's me on the trumpet
How many graboids are in a case?
Tremors like to eat bacon.
I caught a case of the graboids when I was in paradise too.
I cot a little tremor when I was in Paradise.
Tremors: 1,2,3 and 4 are on TV tonight.
It doesn't get better than that.
I think Raven would like hers
In the Lounge you can have Goeoff Taters, bite size tater nuggets, smothered in geoff sauce.
Raven has moved on to Geoff tate.
Raven don't be hanging around Johnny Depp.
Ravens are compelling
Ravens are, indeed. Talking about Bacon? This is the time of year to see the movie called Tremors.
Saw a raven in a film I watched tonight.
Lots of ravens in films this time of year.
Ha! It wasn't gibberish!
The Raven was mysteriously compelling in that film.
I enjoyed it.
I disagree with solidity regarding what he said about Raven.
Friday night I spent the night in the former town of Perfection, on a bolder.
Sorry about all that gibberish.
I was watching a movie last night and drinking wine.
Movie with johnny depp.
He wears a dead raven.
And now the old lady is babying the raven in another scene, in this movie, like a child.
However this does not make me laugh, but rather, intrigued.
Since I hold The Raven in high esteem.
And now, not a minute later, this old lady, in the movie, at an asylum for old folks, has a raven in her hand pecking out food.
This moment in time right now.
The Raven never ceases to be an enigma.
I'm watching a movie right now.
And literally a second ago, the character passes a bridge that passes a sign to the town of "Raven's Fair".
Immediately reminding of our own Raven here at the lounge and NAMI.
The power went out.
How are things going
in the small dark movie of your life?
If you sit on the toilet at 11:59 PM, and the clock strikes 12.
It's the same shit, different day.
Johnny Depp is in Viagra
I just want my space rock to quit melting.
I want to visit the white house when kanya west is in the oval office.
I am BadAssadir of the iHouse
It takes a village, to make America great again.
Thank you Kanye West.
This injustice will stand.
Effective today we are not allowing our jackass to be ridden by members of the Society for Truck Wash Lancing.
News outlets report 53-year-old Juanito Smuch, of the Lounge, was competing in an equestrian game in the Truck Wash, parking lot, when he was wounded Saturday. Juanito's brother and the president of event holder Society for Truck Wash Lancing, Earl Smuch, says Juanito was trying to spear a paper plate on the ground.
Earl says that the metal-tipped lance hit the asphalt and flipped, stabbing Juanito's chest. He says Juanito, who performs under the name "Master Lounge Brownlancer," almost died. He is alright now.
Listen to Raven, Raven knows.
This is the stuff nightmares are made of.
Do you really want to hurt me?
Do you really want to make me cry?
Poor Meatloaf, Two out of three ain’t bad.
I would do anything for meat loaf.
But I won't do that.
I hope that's not what you all are talking about?
Boy George does Meat Loaf
I been keeping up on the happenings and now the Former Hostess is really something. Must be in the cards
I thought it was beer. Do you like beer? I liked it, I thought it is beer. I still like beer. Beer beer. Not microwaved beer.
Don't drink the chicken broth in the fridge!
Smuch Warns People Not to Microwave Their Urine in The Lounge
The Lounge is within walking distance of the Truck Wash lab that offers drug testing services and collect urine samples.
Smuch told the Newspaper the people who used his microwave to warm urine “walk in off the street, microwave their urine containers then leave.”
He says the Former Hostess became aggressive a few months ago when he asked her not to warm urine. She asked to see a sign that says it’s not for that purpose. So he made one.
I drive a beat up '67 Chevrolet with a torn up seat that pokes a brand new hole in my back near every day.
I got a letter from the folks over at Bell just to let me know for my next phone call I could walk outside and yell.
And after all those years of paying union dues it sure didn't seem to count for much when I got my layoff news.
I got a note from the man over at the bank.
Said the next 10 gallons of gas I buy won't be going in my tank.
Say it ain't so.
I can't handle No Fridays.
I might need to seek professional help with this one.
Depression is one thing, but No Fridays?
We are discontinuing Fridays at the lounge.
Ha ha ha...
The "PENIS" has spoken!
I want a way to turn it off. I really don't want the PENIS in my ear coming from my phone.
The test was not as big or hard as the President claimed it to be.
For this reason the the Alert is if for Information and has been renamed for the future. By Executive Order this is effective immediatly
The Presidential Emergency National Information System or, for short the PENIS
I'm sending out an S.O.S!
We've never heard that one!
THIS IS A TEST of the Lounge Information Alert Real System. No action is needed for the burning Halloween display.
Given the opportunity, I would say this about President Ed, for example:
President Ed is helpful
And repeat it whenever the opportunity was presented:
President Ed is helpful.
Let's follow that with tai-chi and yoga, sans news
I only pay attention to Ed's alerts.
I just lost one friend because of PTSD
(President Trump, Stupid Dude)
NOW WE ALL GET STUPID PRESIDENTAL ALERTS!
Ed follows his mom's advice. To attract a nice woman invite the woman to his place for a wonderful home cooked meal.
To this day, not a single woman has cooked him a meal.
Earl that is impressive.
You might be more of a stud than Ed.
Once a rattlesnake bit me, after 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake finally died.
The police often question me, just because they find me interesting
What about the bathing suit competition?
That may be why the rating dropped - but it could be cause Earl was in Willie Nelson's smoke filled motor coach?
I think the Hostess really tied The Lounge together
Dullsville has gotten a bad rap.
But we recycle.
Knit on Tuesdays.
And Bingo is now on Sat. nights too.
The Lounge is Dullsville
I would plagiarize that for my slogan.
I can't fight this feeling any more
I've forgotten what it is I started fighting for
I believe a friend was thinking about asking me if I was thinking about being the president. The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind.
Smuch is worse than Ed
Soul Train is my favorite TV show. Funny you mentioned it. The best of the top 10 female Soul Train dancers of all time is something I have still not been able to determine. When I do, I will let you all know.
Start a love train, a love train.
Seems since the Hostess quit and left the Lounge, it has been colder.
No, the bus is too smoky.
Have you seen Willie?
He added: "I liked beer, I still like beer, but I did not drink beer to the point of blacking out and I never sexually assaulted anyone."
It has been said that a fat headed person has an ego the size of their dome, which makes them think they are a bad-ass.
Dear Mr President, this is not the same as telling you that they respect your "very, very large brain."
Living to 112 years old would result in a "very, very large brain."
Yes Theo is observant, smart.
But the new Cosby show sucks!
It shows him going to jail and crying and stuff.
I hope he's trying to teach Theo something, or maybe showing his young daughters what it means to cry when you're arrested.
Otherwise, I don't think this series will last.
A.F. lived to be a 112 years old.
3 Miller High Lifes and a shot of whiskey a day!
Psst... The men's room is actually the women's room.
I changed the signs!
An engine with the Truck Wash Trailer Park Volunteer Fire Department in the area responded within one minute and watched. The Fire Chief said the Lounge's sprinkler system had the blaze under control within four minutes. No one was injured.
The fire crew carved pumpkins the Lounge for the rest of the day.
The former Hostess is accused of lighting the fire around 9:10 a.m. on Sept 26 in the Lounge located at the Truck Wash. Surveillance cameras recorded her entering the Lounge around 8:40 a.m. and wandering around before igniting the fire in the Halloween section near the front of the Lounge, a witness said.
The Hostess then ran out of the store and jumped into what appeared to be a late-1980s Acura Integra, a witness said.
Can I buy your magic bus?
Yes, I did expect you to.
The Gorn. Is.
Powerful but I.
Yoda: "I cannot teach him."
Obi-Wan Kenobi: "He will learn."
I must say "Why didn't I think of that?!"
I must say I'm not adverse to learning the outcome of that one.
It would be quite enjoyable to see how they solved a situation like that.
Maybe it turns out it was actually a red shirt guy, and they put him in the brig where another prisoner swiftly eliminates him, keeping show continuity intact.
Yes I agree.
And after that Sulu chop off both their heads starting an inter-galactic tribunal. It could be a two-parter.
Or we could have Uhuru make out with the Gorn.
Yes rewrite that episode, season 1, episode 18. Arena. The Gorn is spared in the battle with Captain Kirk.
Sule beams to planet Vasquez Rocks and chops off the Gorn's head with his samari sword!
We do need.
Have a review.
Set our phaser, from.
eye eye ha ha ha
I get my repair updates from Scotty.
Although these days the only thing he's transporting is Jim Beam.
That makes no sense on a spaceship?
Those are nothing mre than high top rain boots.
Captain, do you want that message encrypted?
Sorry too late
And no C-Class hydrospanners on the exhaust manifolds, I only want the good stuff.
Please have The Friendship Enterprise up and running by the time I get back.
Might be out of range later, going to a cabin for work.
The Billionaires would be surprised to learn that we are lowering the bar here in The Lounge.
I'm building a giant clock inside a west Texas mountain.
I haven't figured out why yet.
I think I just have too much money.
I aske Elon Musk for the time and he built me a clock
I am building a hyper loop through your mountains.
But first I must smoke this joint.
Here we are building railroad tunnels thru the Southern California mountains on the oceanic side of the San Andreas fault for the next generation.
Come home Joe. You had a home all along. You don't have to live under that stair case anymore.
I don't care what solidity says about you!
Her beard really tied her look together.
Joe, oh man Joe
How was I supposed to know that the Bearded Lady was actually my sister?
I found your parents Joe. Its not good.
They are living in that trailer park, you know? Its the Truck Wash Trailer Park, behind The Lounge. Your mom has a ceramic clown collection. Your dad is still restoring the Studebaker. Your sister... I know what you did at the carnival, Joe, you didn't know she was your sister. Its creepy Joe. Dont go there.
Come home Joe.
I found your parents.
My cousin told me that that's a healthier way to eat burgers I put on my space rock.
I'm not sure that's real science.
Let me ask Ed.
Don't put burgers in your butt.
I went to the Dr and told him I was constipated.
He told me that I had "ass-purgers syndrome".
Strongest material in the world has been found, it is pasta.
I could have told you that. My trailer is on a pasta block foundation.
It has no limitations,
except the ones you learn.
Yep, it's true.
That missing matter came off my space rock.
Scientists have found the missing matter in the universe.
I don't know what took so long. We have in in a jar on the bar in the lounge.
I now have a Homing Chicken. It is a hen, she knows where her home is.
Pit bull bites off burglar's genitals
A man fleeing from police made the mistake of running into the Truck Wash Trailer Park patrolled by a pit bull. He suffered a bite in his 'private parts,' according to a report in the Lounge News Letter.
Police did not identify the 28-year-old burglary suspect, but did say they were in hot pursuit when the pit bull attacked.
The man was rushed to the emergency room where he remains hospitalized.
Excuse me while I change my vomit bag.
And what about the women who take care of men in diapers?
Don't even reply.
We need more better topics
"He acted like a child. His demeanor was child-like, so he would have tantrums, he would act like a child," the former Lounge Hostess said.
"He would just be clapping, he would be smiling and talking to us when we were changing (him)," she said.
The woman says she feels some relief that she never complied with the shower request.
"He's going to get what he deserves for fooling everybody like this," she said.
The Lounge, TruckWash --
A man is facing crime charges after police say he duped female caregivers into believing he had mental issues that required him to wear a diaper.
The Truck Wash Monkey found a purse in the roadway with $10,000 dollars inside. We commend him for doing the right thing and turning it in to the The Lounge, said The Cook. We found the grateful owner. What a great example of doing the right thing even when no one is watching.
That was your monkey?
I see, now former Lounge Hostess is on a smear campaign. The monkey i safe and in the Lounge kitchen, as always.
A monkey went missing from the The Lounge at the Truck Wash Research Center on Saturday (Sept. 15), according to the Hostess on social media.
If I became president again I'd change every Hostess policy
Let me see your papers
This is The South Carolina Police Dept.
We are monitoring this lounge after reports of a man laughing about a serious situation was discovered.
Ha ha ha...
The hurricane destroys the day
The storm surge devides the night
Try to run, try to hide
Evacuate to the other side
yeah yeah yeah
come mon whooo
You know the day destroys the night
Night divides the day
Try to run, try to hide
A G P is the girl for me
Really living is not like nami
Posts and replies get so far and wide
Carry on discussing till we break on thru to the other side
She is not 100%, as no one is, her being able to understand, and not having experience is a challenge but she seems to be working at it, saying the same thing in different words helps, thats what I have seen you are able to do.
OUR FRIEND Ed would post a 5 parter and tell us to keep up with the good work
What's funny is, I know, apparently you know, that there was more to that conversation earlier.
She's just going on like what you see there is all there is.
I think she read it and maybe didnt like hearing it but she is interacting and you are helping her. There was a time she didn't interact. Now she is
I don't think I will respond to her any more.
That doesn't sit right with me.
In the discussions anything you reply can be discarded by the person who posted above.
We really need a better Hostess
We don't know anything yet.
Hurricane Florence might have blown parts of that post away.
It's only partially deleted.
You can't manufacture a discussion.
This injustice will not stand!
Perri's post has deleted an excellent solidity post reply
Really Hostess? You quit? Just like that?
Please reconsider. Blame someone, if you want to, I would blame solidity. Think of the hurricanes and all the poor people in the world. We need you at the Lounge. The hot tub just won't bubble as well without you.
I just saw Ginger.
You know her?
I thought she was stranded on an island. But no.
Work is like food - no matter how good it is, it gets very boring if you eat the same meal every night.
Why not spice things up and try different things? That way, life is a lot more interesting. If you are sad about me going, wait until you open my locker.
Can I have your locker?
Today, I announced to my team that I would be leaving The Lounge because I had the chance to take a Hostess role at another Lounge. I’ve truly loved my time at The Lounge, and I have great respect for Earl and the work he does, but this was simply an opportunity I couldn’t pass up. Any other speculation as to why I’ve left is simply inaccurate. I’ve been working with the team to ensure a smooth transition prior to my last day, and a number of members of the team are stepping up to fill my role.
But some people call me Maurice.
Well... I'm the Vulcan of love.
I'm a space cowboy
Bet you weren't ready for that!
To be on your own?
Rolling Stones ain't gonna stop till we dead
No one told me!
My girl friend ran off with my car
ran off to her mom and dad
now I am sitting here
sipping on my ice cold beer
I love to live so pleasantly
This is life of luxury
Blazing on a sunny afternoon
In the Truck Wash Lounge
I saw her today at the reception
in her hand was a glass of wine
I was waintng in line at the Truck Wash
A man said you truck looks pretty bad
I fought the law
and the law won.
And the law won.
Off with their heads
Off with the future, there is no nurture
No future for me
No future for you
The Lounge has no plans to scrap its unclear weapons any time soon. We see no reason
Our house, in the middle of our street
That was the time when I was so out of my element, me being just a humble peanut farmer. Everything is going to pot. Willie, what happened to this country?
Actually, it was on the roof, during the Carter presidency.
I smoked weed in the White House.
Now that marijuana is legal everythings going to pot!
Welcome to the fall of mankind. All this because of Ariana Grande was licking everything.
Bring in The Plaid Shirt Guy we need a Grand Jerky.
What... a... dumb... ass.
The druggie didn't get a chance tell his girlfriend that he made the crack pipe from a section of brake line from her car
The Truck Wash encourages Lounge patrons to keep sewers flowing freely by clearing all trash and debris from the Lounge. If caught in a booth, the Hostess urges against walking, swimming or driving through the Lounge.
The Hostess asked me if we are having fun yet.
Hello, I can't believe I am here, front row center, can you tell?
I'll never smoke weed with Willy again.
Ash trays are standard
Ha ha Ha ha ha haaaa!
I thought I was going to an Ariana Grande concert.
No one told me!
Has anyone got very kind words for Mr. Ed?
I should say, Mr. Ed.
Why pay a lounge therapist when Ed offers such sound advice?
When we talk about anosognosia in mental illness, we mean that smuch is unaware of their his mental health condition or that he can’t perceive his condition accurately.
Anosognosia is a common symptom of certain mental illnesses, perhaps the most difficult to understand for those who have never experienced it.
Actually I pay smuch for the pleasure of his outstanding therapeutic experiences
How much did you pay her to say that?
Smuch there is nothing wrong with you. Everyone else is messed up, not you.
I think I may ask to be diagnosed with Anosognosia just because its very hard to pronounce. Maybe then my disability will be resolved.
I'll drink to that!
Coffee that is...
Yes, lets get drunk and then have a serious discussion about drinking
I would say that's racist.
I asked Ed about this and he agrees.
In order to promote greater diversity in our military forces.
I suggest that our new Space Force should consist entirely of Victoria's Secret models in bikini uniforms.
I think that would go a long way towards promoting American Values and peace in these difficult times.
NO! I demand NO!
Ariana needs to wear a hair net.
Her ponytail gets in everything.
I think we have a position in the Kitchen for Ariana
Oh my God!
I saw Ariana Grande licking the icing off my tray!
The food trays in the Lounge carry more germs than toilets, researchers found.
This is your dream come true just for you to make everyone in the Lounge enjoy a live show with this dynamic microphone.
Wireless Bluetooth Karaoke Microphone with Multi-color LED Lights, 4 in 1 Portable Handheld Home Party Karaoke Speaker Machine
Jeff, You may be a trillion air...
The Truck Wash Trailer Park has a clear view of that dusty old moon, and by the way, Jeff, are you by chance really that Picard fellow?
But folks, let my take a moment to say air is free here at the Truck Wash (with every tire repair, starting at $9.95). You can get that here, not on Amazon.
I'm thinking about moving to the moon.
My neighborhood has really gone down hill.
I live next door to Bill Gates, and he's so poor.
You are a decent human being.
They say money can't buy that.
But I disagree.
Need a loan? I can give you a loaner.
If you ran outta gas?
I got a spare gas can.
Flat tire? I will loan you some air.
Anybody need a loan?
Take it from me
It's hip to be square
It appears that the future will be arriving late this year.
Showing no respect for the past.
She'll never lick my donuts again!
You know the show was good, everyone stopped and got coffeed up in The Lounge.
Seems strange the donut shop burnt right after Ariana Grande's tour bus left the Truck Wash.
Earl said it was a coincidence.
Fire destroys The Truck Wash Donut Shop
"I see the history of my Truck Wash donut's becoming ashes. It has no price. I'm devastated."
No! Stop, I not that Kind of Girl! Yes I wear mini shirts and heels so high and sway my long hair and smile and sing. But NO! I don't lick anymore donuts. I got in big trouble and everything.
I am never going back to licking donuts.
She can lick my donut anytime.
It been said that Ariana licked your donut
I went to and old lady's funeral and sang a song in a too short black dress with high heals and swayed my long hair around and the pastor gave me a hug after I finished. Then he apologized for checking me out and called me a Latino, I am an Italian, what can be worse than that?
I was as strong as I could be...
There can only be one.
Why didn't I think of that!
Forget self driving lounges and self driving cars.
What we need are self driving beers!
If Grandma cannot make it to the Lounge, the Lounge will drive itself to Grandma!
My alcoholic friend was most excited when they announced self driving cars as it provides a way for drunks to get to the store to buy their beverage. He died before he learned about Self-Driving Lounge. For that, my guess is he would be glad.
I must say that is a well rounded flat earthers.
Of course the world is flat, with the exception of The Oregon Vortex
My memory is alive and driving to the Lounge
The only thing "Flat Earthers" fear,
is sphere itself.
Grandma was fiercely independent, and stylish too, depending on who you ask.
This we know about: She is late, wears a moomoo and has a mouth on her.
Which describes perfectly my Grandma's logic.
You only are breaking the law if they catch you.
Whoa! Got it!
I guess you won't let others (that includes the law) tell you what you can and cannot do.
I thought they took your license away?
Grandma: "I drove myself dammit."
I am only here for the Rummage Sale
Me sing LaLaLa
Bring on Dancing Grrrrrills!
That's the entertainment.
I screwed a dart board on the backs side of the Lounge entry door.
Now women keep walking in the Lounge with darts stuck in their head.
I think you forgot to tell The Bingo Players outside, it's Sewing Sows Club night.
Awe, she sounds very sweet. She can come anytime!
Tell Grandma that the Lounge is open 24hr per day (unless it burns down again)
I have a feeling she will be very very late to the Sowing Sows Club.
She would have liked you.
Continually collecting "rummage" for her rummage sales.
Grandma was a dedicated democrat and would sow us grandkids quilts.
We don't mind if your grandma's late. She has experience.
My late Grandmother was a dedicated moomoo wearer.
All you Lounge Women may be interested in joining the new sewing group?. We meet on Wednesdays, right here in the Lounge.
The name of the Group is the Sewing Sows, and we will be making moomoos.
If you are interested please contact me, Hostess!
They first need to vote on a badge design.
I sleep well, knowing The Space Force will protect us.
Yeah, tonight a potentially hazardous asteroid barely might miss the earth but don't worry about it
Mike, get with the program, man.
You want a dirty lounge? Hostess has a dirty lounge.
This show will not stand, man.
Next series, this fall, on watch it
We haven't had that spirit here, since 1979.
I had a rough night and I hate the fucking Eagles, man.
Look, I have one rule in this lousy Lounge. It’s crazy, but I’m going to enforce it, okay?
Has the whole world gone crazy?
Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules?
of course you cant read between the lines here, its blacked out. Man.
The Lounge really pulls the TruckWash together.
I do not know.
Aren't we so ironic and funny and wonderful. But who has had the last laugh?
I'm from the Alice Cooper school of 'School's Out,' 'I'm Eighteen,' you know? And Alice was very big on these anthemic songs. So I wanted to write an anthem for the audience to raise their fists in the air in righteous anger.
You are close, bottom of the foot wart is a verruca with two r's
They both can be a pain, and need to be removed.
Veruca means "wart" in Latin.
I don't care how.
I want it now.
Santa feels that most boys and girls have been good. He expects a lot of gifts this year. He also says that Rob is not on his gift list. "Too dour."
Ho Ho Ho
The elfs are all at the north pole melting plastic Army Men with magnifying glasses
Hopefully he's not a sour puss.
The Pope has announced he is coming to the Truck Wash Lounge.
Let me! Let Me Pick!
"It was a Stormy Night"
Starring Donnie Thump and Stormy Damyou
Stick a fork in me, I'm done.
In order to pay tribute to the passing of John McCain. The lounge will be playing C-SPAN on our TV's for the next 24 hours.
Who wants that?
Its Naked Saturday at the Lounge.
Where'd you get that deep dark tan?
Hostess, This bottle of beer is warm, but I trust you know...
This beer tastes just like piss!
Raven will NEVER invite Rob
The dough boy freaks me out
Google is the end all be all
Good Job responding to
Him. I think he may be from another planet
Here's what I do to people that annoy me. Picture him naked, powdery white, no tan, like the Pillsbury Dough Boy.
Finger poke in tummy same silly giggly laughter
What a sour puss. You would think that I had suggested watching C-SPAN for 2 hours.
So you got drunk and smashed up your exgirlfriends furniture?
Maybe Raven will ask him to visit the Lounge, I won't
I think I am paranoid. That's Garbage
Please see music video pre-election documentary on youtube
"Pussy Riot - Make America Great Again"
I think he said "A Lot Of Music is hard to understand - I Agree with Raven"
Naafgh opaarfs nlop a Raven?
Who are you people? Anyone know music I that I know, nevermind like?
The Sex Pistols with Pussy Riot. That would be a show.
The King is gone but he's not forgotten
Is this the story of Johnny Rotten?
A rare disease that causes flesh-eating things has been reported in The Lounge John.
A trucker told the Hostess, that if left untreated the disease “could cause the flesh around the privates to literally rot away.”
Knowledge is knowing the difference between wisdom and wise guy
Vulcanized Rubber is logical.
At Truck Wash and Tire Repair Shop the process to harden the rubber on the retreads involves burning sulfer on the tire surface, yes, that's right, vulcanized retread tire skins go about million miles.
Logic is the cement of our civilization, through which we ascend from chaos, using reason as our guide.
Instant Karma's gonna get you
Gonna knock you right on the head
You better get yourself together
I'm not wasting perfectly good alcohol on cockroaches!
That's possibly the most effective way, it works on The Lounge kitchen cockroaches
Help! The Martinis are invading!
Fireball shots that is
That's fake news.
Of all the things that threaten to kill or disable us, alcohol takes a disturbingly high spot on the list - according to global estimates based on people's state of health and levels of alcohol consumed.
This 🙏 looks like a bare butt.
We have unlimited resources here on Earth.
If you don't see what you are looking foe, within reason, just ask me, but if you are unpleased with the service here, my name is solidity.
I agree with you. We need to make Planet Earth great again.
I am new to 🌏 Earth.
My world is peaceful and plentiful ,but we wanted to explore space to see if we were alone...
We are now hoping to live on 🌏 EARTH ....
However our radio frequencies keep telling us
That war and destruction is
far too common on your planet. We also keep haering the terms fake news , impeachment and russian collusion!!! We revere our chosen leaders and they love our world.
No such things as nuclear weapons or serine gas.... we do not destroy nor kill....
No one on our planet goes hungry because we dont have a military or defense force. All of our resources have been directed at ending hunger, providing education and healthcare.....
OMG I said too much !!!
We dont want you to find us because you want to destroy us like you are doing to yourselves....
Dear lord , that is why you are looking to MARS .... because you are destroying your own planet......
Please heal your planet before we actually meet because we dont want destruction of our planet also....
We are not going to let you know we are here and will journey the many light
years back to our beloved planet of peace😢😭👽🙏🙏🙏🙏we are sad for you and will pray for you!!! We are no longer interested in space exploration.... we came we saw and we LEFT....
I really love the north west!
Johnny is right! It's a burning love.
Love, is a burning thing...
Why are two o's on choose but one o in lose?
Train yourself to let go of all you fear to lose.
Logic would suggest returning to the desert.
Is it better to?
- Dwell in the desert
- Live with a crazy woman
That reminds me oh my Jacuzzi!
That's right. And we use the men's room too. Only.
Manly men don't get in the hot tub. The answer to Raven about a bunch of men in the hot tub is no.
A bunch of men together in a hot tub?
Raven is happy.
I think some of the participants in The Lounge have differing ideas about Fireballs.
Men - hurry! Get in the hot tub!
I was abandoned by my parents at The Lounge when I was just a baby.
In 1954, Earl's grandpa found a baby wrapped in a blanket and tucked in a cardboard box inside a booth at The Lounge. It would take 64 years and a DNA test for the mystery of "Little Boy Blue-eyes" to be solved.
Are you happier now Raven?
I like fire ball shots
Does anyone know where it landed!?
A small asteroid 6 feet in diameter was moving northwest at 53,700 miles per hour and fragmented about 18 miles above the The Lounge, Smuch said "We are still assessing the probability of the fireball producing meteorites on the ground."
The fireball, which is Smuch's word for a very bright meteor, was described as "at least 40 times as bright as the Full Moon." It was first seen 58 miles above The Lounge.
I love this part.
After being abandoned by his parents at the Lounge, Earl tells the story of his journey to find his parents.
After the burning of the Lounge, most of the globe is on fire. Some humans have survived, and even fewer still, notably the Smuch, have adapted to the fire by developing flame retardant breath. A loner by nature, the Smuch reluctantly befriends Marie and her young companion, Raven, as they escape from a hostile Truck Wash Lounge. Soon the sinister Solidities are pursuing them in the belief that only Raven holds the key to finding the mythical Trailer Park.
It flew by at warp speed.
The Mars Rover photographed what appeared to be a piece of old duct tape. On closer laser spectrometer analysys the scientists determined thet were wrong.
The analysis found its a carelessly discarded seal from the cheese package, as Mars is just a large cheese ball.
Today's messages are brot to you by the letters E and D
Together they spell ED
I’m sorry your vacation is ending.
This is the last night of my vacation.
You can enter the Kitchen by clicking on the link above. Its a fine place to share thoughts. My complements to the chef
That sounds like the dance floor in the Lounge on a Saturday night!
Two-step and Square Dancing till 10 pm
What Truckers like
We do have our share of Lot Lizards at the Lounge, but only one smuch.
We've just received confirmation that "Cloud 9" is an actual location. Stay tuned for the forecast.
They might have thought you were cruising for a prostitute.
Probably smuch was drunkenly picking dandelions with a machete again is my guess.
When Smuch went on a walk near The Lounge by Truck Wask last week, he was on a quest for dandelions.
The stroll would end in him getting stunned by a Taser and arrested by police officers.
The Dude abides.
That poster Flexo, seems to understand Ed better than I do. Would he understand this Lounge
I think I will go on Yelp to see if my sister's dog has left any negative comments about me.
Since I posted nonsense, I think I have to tell my doctor to increase my medication.
Or step on his tail?
Yelp is what my sister's dog does when I don't feed him table scraps.
Raven actually posted nonsense.
This Yelp obsession Raven is exhibiting us facinating
I will look up Yelp on Yelp
Get a booth you two!
I will look up smuch on Yelp
We are promoting a healthier environment. Come try our coffee!
Black walls closing in again
Losing sleep and lost in time...
This aggression will not stand, man.
Tell smuch what a fuck up he really is weekend
Seriously, Yelp is a bunch of crapola
We are travelers on this earth, for a short time.
This is it, Old Gary told me this is the end times.
I gave the Lounge 5 stars in yelp
I remorsefully admit it is my responsibility.
Sorry this place is not as good as it could be.
An apology is a statement of remorse that you make when you've done something wrong. It can be difficult to apologize, but it can do a lot to heal relationships and rebuild trust. Follow these steps when you make an apology: Express remorse. Admit responsibility.
Ha ha ha...
The kitchen is where you can post little bits of nonsense. We run a serious Lounge.
I am in the Hot Tub.
Dammit Jim! We are almost out of dilythium crystals and we have a bad joke on board.
There is no delete button - Report Abuse
Where's the delete button on this site?
That's pretty cool. Just make sure you don't take a train to get there.
A certain bird is going to Ozzy’s concert in Sept.
Deafened by silence
Doesn't anybody hear?
I'm waiting for darkness.
Loiterers are highly unusual suspects.
Man, these Loiterers at the Lounge have gotten so much better since The Lounge reopened.
Thank goodness for The Rules!
Marie, We answer your question with this question, how much time is No?
The Rule is "No Loitering!"
Are all women like this?
How much time are we allowed exactly?
You mean the smoke is from fires?
I misread, sorry.
Smoke on the water
It has been legal in California and have not seen a big increase in legal sales of the product.
The whole thing, its a hoax.
It's bad up here. No sunshine, even though it should be clear skies. All the smoke from the pot smokers is clouding up my summer.
There's always room here for the lonely...
I till tell you what this place needs besides the hot tub. The Lounge needs better lighting, and disco music, with a spinning mirrored ball ant laser lights with a fog maker and a long red fax leather futon sofa
Management of the Truck Wash has constucted a place for the Raven to Roost in the proximity of The Lounge
Fries and crumbs may suffice the Ravens appetite however loitering is prohibited
It took so long to fix the damage in the Lounge because Internet Explorer exploded massively all over the the Mens Room
The place is nice. I like the neon.
It's HIGH TIME we pick on Smuch.
No need to worry Marie.
Much worse things can and will happen. Anything we say solidity will challenge so I make no excuses for him.
I now can say why he insisted I use the woman's head up there. It was a trick.
This is set up better. But I’m sorry it burned. I hope everyone is alright.
The Truck Wash is a place off the busy highway in Buttonwillow.
The Lounge is where you can get a good meal sometimes, depending on if you want to eat the surprise of the day or try the what I like.
We love complaints here in The Lounge.
It is our low-bar standard that Truckers really crave.
The Truck Wash
You have a dirty truck? Is it HUGE?
Bring it in - and get a free hard pickled boiled egg in The Lounge.
The truck is huge!
The Lounge updates when you post, but if you loiter, you won't automatically see new posts.
But... you can reload the page or click on the The Lounge heading and the posts will be reloaded.
There are some other things different
Hope you have no problems
Turns out the men's restroom had a problem.
I went in there and the light was out so I struck my Zippo for light and the place exploded. I died.
The Kitchen was a dreadful lifesaver.
Jump in to the fire, I always say... not really, I say jump into the HOT TUB! Ha ha haaa